Is Happiness Overrated?
You've probably seen those ads. You know, the ones where the cows are
supposed to be so happy in California. It all looks so blissful -- deep blue
skies, thick green grass, warm sunshine. But, have you ever asked yourself, if
you were a cow, is that what you'd want? Now, there could be some obvious
benefits. Even I can imagine that waking up to a farmer's cold hands in the
middle of January could be quite unpleasant. But, hey, farmers all have milk
machines now, so that's just udder nonsense.
What's the big deal then about happy cows? The implication is, of course,
that if the cows are so happy then the dairy products must be wonderful. Is that
true?
First, a disclaimer: I grew up on a farm in Wisconsin so you might
think that I am prejudiced in favor of Wisconsin cows. But, I should point out
that I grew up on a hog farm. A hog farm in Wisconsin is quite an anomaly and
does not necessarily make one a fan of Wisconsin cows. Also, I have a vast
technical background, not a half vast one, so I let the data speak for
themselves. Therefore, you can trust my view point and feel confident that it is
based on the best available scientific studies.
What do the studies show?
With all of the commotion about Brett Favre's recent retirement, the start of
the new baseball season, the wild March Madness in college basketball, and
preparation for the Olympics in China this summer, it's possible that you may
have missed this, but Madison was recently the proud host city for the
2008 World Championship Cheese Contest. I'm not sure if it was on ESPN and I
know that it didn't make the cover of Sports Illustrated so I thought that I
should bring you up to date. With this information you can talk intelligently at
your next fashionable cocktail party.
Since this was an international event, famous cheese makers from all around
the world entered their best products. There were overall winners as well as
winners in 77 different classes of products. The classes included some of the
better know cheeses like cheddar (there were actually 7 different classes of
cheddars), mozzarella, and Colby along with more exotic kinds like Quesos
Frescos. Some of the category names offered too much information, like
"Camembert and Other Surface (Mold) Ripened Cheeses." There were even classes
for string cheese and pepper flavored cheeses. They really had the world of
cheese covered.
I know that some of you are holding your breath in eager anticipation of
finding out who won so, before you pass out, let me mention that the top three
overall prizes for the contest all went to European cheese makers.
- World Champion - Le Gruyere Switzerland; Made by Michael Spycher;
Kaserei Fritzenhaus; Wasen, Switzerland; Champion Round Score: 98.82
- First Runner-Up - Gorgonzola; Made by CERPL Cheesemakers; CERPL
for DCI Cheese Co.; Bologna, Italy; Champion Round Score: 98.56
- Second Runner-Up - Emmentaler; Made by Bernhard Naf; Kaserei
Guntershausen; Guntershausen, Switzerland; Champion Round Score: 98.42
Good old US of A cheeses did very well in the individual categories. In fact,
151 of the top 232 cheeses in the 77 classes were from the US.
You're probably wondering where these US cheeses came from. Who am I to
withhold such important information.
- Best of Class: Due to a tie in one class there were 78 Best of Class
Awards. Wisconsin cheese makers won 27 Best of Class and California cheese
pretenders won 3.
- Second Place in Class: Wisconsin cheese makers won 24 of the 77
second place awards. California won only 5.
- Third Place in Class: Wisconsin cheese makers won 21 of the 77
second place awards. California won only 5.
So, Wisconsin took home a total of 72 of the top three class awards and
California, despite having such happy cows, took home only 13 awards.
The next time you hear someone brag about California, be sure to let them
know how California cheeses fare when compared to those from America's REAL
Dairyland.
You know what? I don't think those cows in the California ads are happy; I
think maybe they're just stoned.
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